When it comes to love, most of us blindly follow the social script — start dating, move in together, get married, and have kids.
But some people defy these expectations. They opt for unconventional relationships, like polyamory or relationship anarchy.
Why is that? What do they get out of it?
Many of us spend an obscene amount of time socializing with people we have nothing in common with.
It’s a giant waste of time.
The solution is to become selectively social. You must consciously manage whom you allow into your life — and whom not.
Sometimes, we meet a stranger who we just “click” with. There is instant mutual trust. It feels elating.
That feeling is called rapport, and it can be manufactured. All you need to do is to ask the right rapport-building questions.
Has your relationship gone flat?
Over time, people lose their sexual edge in relationships. Instead of emphasizing their attractive differences, they start to accommodate each other.
It feels comfortable, but it also kills off any desire.
Do you feel quickly exhausted around other people?
You might be suffering from what is referred to as a low social battery. Too much socializing, and you shut off.
Fortunately, you can learn to manage your social battery and function better in meetings or at parties.
Do you regularly ask yourself, “Why am I so quiet?”
There are various reasons for not speaking up around other people, some of which you might not be aware of.
The good news is — if you want to, you can change. You can learn certain techniques to easily connect with other people.
Are you considering giving polyamory a try?
Then you should think about the pros and cons of polyamory first before you get into something you might come to regret.
Are you a people pleaser?
I was one, for many years. I felt like I had to live up to other people’s expectations of me. Until one day I realized, “Not everyone is going to like you.”
When that realization sank in, I was finally free to live my life as I saw fit. All kinds of interesting things came from it, like me going off to travel the world.
You can have that too.
Some people are great communicators. We enjoy being around them. They make us feel good about ourselves.
As a result, these master communicators win more business, make better friends, and have more romantic options.
Fortunately, this is a skill you can learn. If you put the work in, people will flock to you, too.
Why should you only be allowed to be with one person? What is so terrible about having multiple sexual partners, as long as you are transparent about it?
If you have ever asked yourself these questions, you are not alone. There is a whole movement out there questioning the traditional relationship paradigm. It’s called ethical non-monogamy (ENM).